Dru

t-dat

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 30 May 2009 20:31:05 GMT

"and CLG is totally C. I mean he's a G you met in the L, how right in the H can he be?"

about thursday...

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 20:38:20 GMT

S: Well, if that's what you mean, then don't think he's crazy at all.
E: no?
S:I think you're an amazing woman, and if this Kevin thinks that you click together, then he'd be foolish not to do anything he can to get a chance with you.

Just thought this was interesting, considering it's such a different view than ryan and timmy took. Also, you are so nice to me, for no reason. There should be more people like you.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 14:55:21 GMT

Thursday March 26, 2009 ---------> July 17, 2010

Just had to make a note of this.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 23:37:42 GMT

Tomorrow I'm going to go down and hang out with Bonny(ie?) while Jonathan comes up and talks with Charlie about computers (blah). I'm actually very excited about this. I hardly ever spend time with anyone besides Charlie and Timmy, and I NEVER spend time with other women. And I really like her and we've been thinking about getting together for what seems like a long time. Plus, babies!!!!! I think it will be way cool. Maybe the four of us will even do something one of these days ....holy cow another couple! Insanity.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 02:39:30 GMT

Man, I'm pissed.

and also

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 08 Nov 2008 22:12:22 GMT

I haven't really heard much from S lately and I'm really okay with that. I don't call him or dream about him or sit around waiting for him, and I don't freak and leap outta my skin when he does get in touch with me. I think I'm finally really past that silly bullshit. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm actually in a happy, stable, fulfilling relationship. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm too busy to really worry about it. Or maybe it's just that I finally realized there's no point in giving a damn. I'll always care how he is, but that doesn't mean I'll always be there for him. Real friends care about something besides themselves sometimes. I've already got a few and I don't need any more right now. I don't think we were ever as close as I imagined we were, and it actually doesn't bother me. I'm happy. I'm zen. I'm enlightened. Barack Obama is our next president. I'm going to graduate college. All is right with the world.

I wanna be the inspiration for your room going silent...

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 14:24:28 GMT

I had a dream about you last night.
I called you and you answered.
I went to your house and I explained myself.
You forgave me.
And you pretended to understand.
And then we just held each other for a very long time, in a fully clothed, completely non-sexual, comforting kind of way.

I really miss you.

And I wish things were different.

Please don't leave me forever this time.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 23:25:08 GMT

Fred Eaglesmith is here tonight and I got a ticket and was really excited about going. Unfortunately I've been working for ten hours now and I don't feel super great. Plus, the show starts at 8, which is the same time I get off work, and I haven't eaten anything yet and I would have to change because I'm way too hot and unsexy in my big old pants and Buzzcocks shirt. So, I guess I'm gonna hang out at home with the man instead. *sigh* It's my decision and I could go, I know, but I don't wanna get there and park and end up missing everything and I also don't want to be grumpy or feel icky tomorrow. Oh well, I told UJ to go ahead and get rid of my ticket if he can and hopefully old Fred will come back around soon. Anywhere close would be okay, as I'm totally open to travel in the summertime if I can afford it. Tonight I'll rest up good so tomorrow we can clean before mummy comes to meet Strangles. And I already decided I will only be slightly disappointed with myself. There WILL be a next time.

well...

emgo72@hotmail.com — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 00:07:41 GMT

I turned 21. I was hoping it wouldn't bring any bad news. Silly me. They say I can try to get on disability or I can get pregnant. Otherwise, I'm kinda screwed. Why can't things be easy?

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 15:44:04 GMT

Things are looking up, I think.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 15:50:09 GMT

Steve called Thursday night.

I guess I'm not really surprised.

He left a voicemail, and I managed to hold out a whole thirty seconds before I broke down and called him back.

I am weak, pathetic individual.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:00:59 GMT

I'm bored and I haven't done anything this pointless in awhile, so I figured I might as well.

1: First grade teacher's name: I don't remember, but she was fat and mean and had no business working with children.
2: Last word you said: "while"
3: Last song you sang: The Taste of Red-Butch Walker
4: Last person you hugged: Charlie! :)
6: Last time you said I don't remember: this afternoon.
::PRESENT::

9: What color socks are you wearing: NO socks.
10. What's under you bed right now?: Whatever it is, it's Charlie's.
11: What time did you wake up today: 8ish.
12: Current taste: coffee
13: Current hair: down and a little frizzy. bleh.

There are a lot of questions missing, I do not know why

16: Current longing: I wants to go home and watch Monk with my hunny on our NEW PROJECTOR!!
17: Current desktop background: Dorothy's garden.
18: Current worry: School
19: Current hate: construction
20: Current favorite article of clothing: my little pink tanktop. it's comfy comfy and it makes the boys go oooooohh
21: Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex: hair, eyes, arms, voice (i guess that's not a physical feature, but you can't go wrong with a nice voice)
22: Last CD that you listened to: all the way through: Butch Walker-Letters, Currently in CD player: Butch Walker and the Rise and Fall of the Let's Go Out Tonights
23: Favorite place to be: on my couch. or anywhere with my hunny bear or my mama. (depending on mood)
24: Least favorite place: any public restroom. icky
25: Time you wake up in the morning?: 8ish, mostly. Whenever Charlie starts to hit me with pillows.
27: Favorite color: pink, purple, black
28: Do you believe in an afterlife: no sir
30: Current favorite word/saying: "your mother sucks cocks in hell" obviously.
31: Favorite book: all of them. Books are the best thing in the world. Besides those tiny little donuts, which they don't sell in Maine. Bastards.
32: Favorite season: Spring. Although summer's catching up lately.
33: One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: Tina.

::FUTURE::

35: Where do you want to go for college?: Already there. USM. uh-huh
36: What is your career going to be like: I'm gonna marry rich and make babies
37: How many kids do you want: Lots. 4-6? Likely to change when I actually start to have them. But definitely a few.

::HAVE YOU EVER...::

39: Said "I love you" and meant it: yes
40: Gotten in a fight with your dog/cat/bird.etc : yes, big ol' Doyle has kicked my ass on more than one occasion
41: Been to New York: Yes, although I pretty much just stood there
42: Been to Florida: Yes, and the seminar was awesome, though Disney was an amazing disappointment
43: Been to California: no
44: Been to Hawaii: Yes. It rained and rained.
45: Been to Mexico: no
46: Been to China: no
48: Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: Maybe?
52: Do you have a crush on someone: Just Charlie. Charlie, Charlie. I still get that fluttery feeling everytime I see him, even though I've known him forever now and I see him all day every day. Heh, I feel silly saying that, but it's true true. Nobody else for me.
53: What book are you reading: House of Sand and Fog (the story is really something, though the writing style's not really for me)
54: What is the worst feeling in the world: envy. Not like, oh man I wish I had your car, but like ohwowthatwastheonlythinginmylifethatreallymeantanythingandyoutookitawayandi'mnotsurehowtoevergetitbackandwhowantstolivenow? nothing has ever been worse.
55:What is the first thing you think about when you wake in the morning: Charlie, followed closely by the kitty cats, and then the list of things i have to get done that day.
56: How many rings before you answer: depends on who it is/what i'm doing/where the phone is.
59: Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Charlie won't let me :(
64: Do you do drugs?: just the herb
65: Do you drink: rarely
67: What kind of Shampoo and Conditioner do you use?: anything for color-treated hair. Loreal, maybe?
68: What are you most scared of: getting murdered in my sleep while Charlie's away on business. Don't call me unreasonable.
69: What clothes do you sleep in?: none
70: Who is the last person that called you: charlie to tell me he got us a PROJECTOR!!
71: Where do you want to get married: outside
72: If you could change anything about yourself what would that be: i would love to never think about her again.
73. Who do you hate: Avril, duh
74: Been In Love: yes
75: Are you timely or always late: I'm late a lot, but I've been known to be on time occasionally
76: Do you have a job: yes
77: Do you like being around people?: depends on my mood and the people. not generally, but there are a few folks I just love (charlie, my brother, all the kids back home)
78: Best feeling in the world?: safety
79: Are you for world peace: yes! unrealistic as it may be.
80: Are you a health freak: not at all, although I tend to eat healthier than most people I know
81: Do you have a "Type" of person you always go after: People go after me. If they're lucky, I'll respond.
82. You want someone you can't have?: Nope, nope. I used to want someone I didn't have, but I knew I could and that kept me going. And now I've got him, see how perfect?
83: Are you lonely right now: not at all
84: Ever afraid you'll never get married: yes, terrified. although it seems like an unlikely scenario
85: Do you want to get married: yes, although if i don't that's okay too. you don't have to be married to have someone and be loved.
86: Do you want kids?: Yes, so bad. Babies, babies, babies, everywhere babies. YES!

::IN THE LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...::

87: Cried: nope
88: Bought Something: yes? well, Gabe bought it, but I gave him the money...
89: Gotten Sick: nope
90: Sang: of course
91: Said I Love You: I think maybe to my grandma, but that might have been more than 48 hours *shrug*
92: Wanted To Tell Someone You Liked them: yes, and i did, and everyone was happy.
93: Met Someone: don't think so
94: Moved On: No sir
95: Talked To Someone: yes
96: Had A Serious Talk: borderline?
97: Missed Someone: yes, but he's home now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
98: Hugged Someone: yuppers
99: Yelled at Someone: no
100: Thought About Someone You Can't Be with: Danny maybe, but he'll come out one of these days.

PS-My trip was fabulous, of course. But it's nice to finally be home. Details later, if I get around to it.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Fri, 11 May 2007 16:24:39 GMT

I moved again. I live in South Portland, in Olde English now, which isn't really where I want to be and I'm living with another boyfriend, which isn't really what I planned. It's okay though, I didn't have to give up any kitties which is the one thing I was really worried about. And he's a good man. Plus, paying half this rent is much cheaper than paying all of the old rent. And half the rent is the ONLY thing I pay for, so I'm really saving. Thank heaven for a handsome old man with a good job.

As soon as I finish the paper I'm putting off writing at this very second, I will be done for the semester. Hurray for being a Junior! I plan on working every single day for at least the first half of the summer, but no homework, so it won't be so bad. Shanti might come stay with us for a week or so at the end of July, which would totally rock, and I might go back home with him for another week or so when he leaves, which would rock even more. Of course, it'd be nice if Charles wanted to come too, but he doesn't do much.

Overall, things are definitely getting better and that's enough for me right now.

Quickly...

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sun, 19 Nov 2006 18:17:15 GMT

I live in a gorgeous apartment up on Munjoy Hill now. I will live there ALONE soon, and am very, very excited about this. Aaron is moving out. It is not as sad as everyone tries to make it, just stressful and exhausting. I really am looking forward to living alone, although I am having to work incredible hours at more than one job to manage it. For the time being, Aaron is staying in the house (only until he finds somewhere to go) and I have been staying, mostly, with a friend of mine. Not a new boyfriend, just someone who treats me nicely and gives me a bed to sleep in. It isn't easy, but it's much better than it could be.

School is going okay. I'm rockin the double major and enjoying being in school for the first time since about second grade.

My mom and Jeff split up in the summertime, I don't know if I mentioned. Our Thanksgiving dinners just keep getting smaller and smaller, we're out two more this year. That's okay, though, I've been able to spend time with just my mum for the first time since I was very small, and I never even realized how much I really missed her. She's been very good to me lately also (including letting me sleep on her couch some), there is no better mother in the world. My grandmother, also, is the shit. I'm so glad I've got the family I do.

And now ya'll know where I'm at. Don't expect more anytime soon.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Wed, 31 May 2006 19:31:17 GMT

We're moving on June 28th and I cannot wait. Aaron has a much better job, as do I (fuck the drydock, yo). I'm working and I don't have a lot of time to talk, but I'm lonely for friends lately. I mean, I love aaron, and I see ryan and Kevin and that's wonderful, but I miss the old days. I used to be out all night every night, always with different people, and never doing the same thing. Now Aaron and I are asleep by 10:30. What happened? Steve came over yesterday and it was the best thing in the world. I have missed him so much. I thought I would never see him again. My god, it made me happy.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sun, 09 Apr 2006 23:46:24 GMT

Hello lovelies, I'm still alive.

I wanna be your big win

emgo72@hotmail.com — Thu, 20 Jan 2005 12:05:08 GMT

It's so romantic
Attack in the shower
five minutes in bed
A moan and a squeeze
A cough and a butt.
What happened to us?

Mike is gone. To the army. I hope he writes. I hope he doesn't die. I don't know how he can be so crazy.

Aaron moved. My mom found the place for him. It's huge. Cori and Joanna are living there too. Joanna is okay. It's kinda far away.

We don't have school today, and I guess that's nice. We had Monday and Tuesday off too, and I didn't go on Friday, so there ya go.

I got in to USM, but haven't heard back from anywhere else yet.

I spent all my money on things involving Aaron and now I'm broke as hell and can't go see Ryan this weekend.

I wanted to live with Jason, but it's too late now.

Aaron is supposed to come with me when I move this summer. I am filled with Skepticism.

Justin is gone again. I don't know where to.

I'm trying desperately to feel okay. It's not going well.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sun, 29 Aug 2004 05:00:40 GMT

Today I went to Aaron's and he was very much asleep. Brennen and I both tried to wake him, but it was pointless. So we played with tape measures. Eventually he did wake up...kinda. Something happened and he snapped at me. And I started to cry. I felt really bad, but not as bad as he seems to.

Later he said he's not gonna be an incensitive prick to me, and have I ever wondered why he doesn't drink very often?

Ok, so there's more to the story than what I wrote down.

On another note, I love Brennen. I wish he was mine.

Yeah, Melissa broke up with Cori, so I didn't talk to him about any of this either. Poor Cori, he needs hugs.

I hope everyone at work drops dead. Except Derrick and Shane, Derrick's awesome, and Shane's a sweetie pie face. Everyone else is a big hairy dick.

Comment or die

emgo72@hotmail.com — Fri, 23 Apr 2004 15:54:48 GMT

Ask me three (3) questions that you want me to answer, and i'll answer them

emgo72@hotmail.com — Mon, 05 Apr 2004 22:56:53 GMT

I turned seventeen on March 23rd. No one cared.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Wed, 21 Jan 2004 23:29:15 GMT

Everything reminded me of you today.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Sun, 11 Jan 2004 06:53:33 GMT

If I were any sadder I think I would actually die. I can't even cry because I want to think this couldn't happen. I want to think that love can conquer anything. But it can't, and maybe that's my problem.

Besides, love doesn't mean a thing if only one person feels it.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Thu, 08 Jan 2004 02:43:19 GMT

Sidenote: It doesn't itch, but it kinda hurts a little when you touch it.

emgo72@hotmail.com — Wed, 07 Jan 2004 13:04:17 GMT

So yeah, Kinsy and I are together, in case anyone was wondering. I saw him yesterday and it was mostly good. We talked on the phone for over an hour and a half last night, and that was good too. It was one when we hung up, which was fine with me because I haven't really slept in over a week anyway. Things will not be okay forever. Someday I will flip out about HIM, and I will leave, and everyone will be sad. But right now, I'm just not ready to be Kinsyless and I realized a few things talking to him last night. I realized that I am compromising a lot...more than I have for anyone before, but I also realized that he really is trying. That's all I can ask for now, I suppose.

"Oh God, I did it again!!"

emgo72@hotmail.com — Wed, 07 Jan 2004 01:47:03 GMT

Today Mackenzie set me on fire again. Yes, I said again. That isn't any kind of metaphor either. It was almost exactly the same way as last time, which made me laugh, but at least this time it's not noticeable. I love that idiot, really.